Travel

I have a suggestion for those of you that plan to travel by air in these uncertain times. If you have a desire to get to your destination in a timely fashion I suggest that you follow the TSA rules (although they don't seem to follow their own rules) and I have one extra special tip for you. Check to make sure that there are no Montgomerys on your flight. I am referring specifically to any Montgomery that would be directly related to me.

The airlines can be a tad cranky about showing you the passenger list, so I suggest that you proceed directly to your gate, take a look around and see if you can see me or any members of my immediate family. For those of you that aren't familiar with my immediate family and still have a desire to arrive at your destination on time, it would be well worth your while to just stand up and announce "Is anyone here related to Karen Montgomery"? Members of my family will then fess up and you can immediately rebook yourself on a different flight.

It won't matter if your flight was direct from Pittsburgh to Cleveland and re booking means that you now have a layover in Bangladesh, you are going to get there faster if you don't travel with us.

My travel woes are legendary. I have missed 3 days of a Scandinavian cruise because of a truck accident in Philadelphia. It makes for a great story, but I missed the white cliffs of Dover. I have spent 5 days touring the Mediterranean without my luggage courtesy of USAirways. We even left an entire day early for that trip, just to make sure that everything would go well. I have spent countless nights in odd cities because my connecting flight was late or the last flight out was canceled. I avoid Philadelphia like it has a plague and I would rather travel to Atlanta to get home from New York than be the last flight out of Washington/Dulles. For years I thought that it was only I that traveled under a black cloud, but as it turns out, it is genetic.

Our daughter Lindsay flew back to college in Jacksonville Florida on the same day that some nut in Newark decided to walk the wrong way through security. You might think that a jerk in Newark wouldn't have any effect on travel from Pittsburgh to Jacksonville, but you would be wrong. Nothing flys direct to Jacksonville. Lindsay had a layover in Charlotte. Her connecting flight originated in ... you guessed it, Newark.

To make a long story short (and traveling with us is always a long story) our attempt to get Lindsay back on campus, in to her new room, and ready for class the next day failed miserably. She was rerouted to Gainesville where a friend agreed to make the 70 mile drive to pick her up and help her get back to school. Meanwhile, USAirways managed to loose her bag. The very same bag that they charged us $25 to put on the plane. After a ridiculous runaround, they found her bag - in Jacksonville. They delivered the kid to the wrong city and the bag to the right one! Oh, that TSA "rule" that says they won't put a bag on a plane unless you are traveling with it.... they lie.

I've been busy putting my calendar back together after the upgrade to Windows 7, confirming hotel reservations and flight info for speaking engagements and training classes. I may be the only person that makes travel arrangements based on where I would like to be stranded. Next week three of us are traveling to Chicago. Three Montgomerys on the same plane? .... we decided to drive!