Are
you wondering where I have been?
Care
to take a guess? Come on, just
guess! Your wild and crazy imagination
can't be more ridiculous than some of the rumors that are going around! Rumors are part of our business. It's natural for women to talk. We hear lots of things we don't repeat and
I'm not surprised to find out that sometimes we are the subject of talk. We just try to keep it to a minimum. Every few years someone comes into the shop
to tell me that they "heard" that we are closing (wouldn't I be the first to know?).
For years I laughed it off and my standard response was "Did they
also
tell you that I am sleeping with Mel Gibson?". That was fun until Mel went off the deep end
and became a bit of a nut case. It was
after his crazy tirade that I decided to break things off with Mel and take up with Hugh Jackman. You read that correctly, I am
no longer sleeping with Mel Gibson.
Do
you really want to know where I've been?
Working, working hard! Although I
am always working on new ideas, October is the kick-off month for all of the club
programs in our shop. I rarely do
something "off the shelf" so that means creating new projects,
writing new patterns and test sewing everything before we start. I will be the first to admit that I normally
work down to the wire - if I don't need it until tomorrow my usual attitude is
that I still have plenty of time! This
year is different. I happen to have
selected projects that need to be completed
before anything can begin. Because they
are monthly clubs, I'm working on things that my club members won't see until
next JUNE! Working that far ahead I should have some
free time between now and then.... right? I'm going to have to let Hugh know.......
Does
that look like a monitoring device to you?
It is - sort of - it is a Fitbit.
It tracks how many steps I take.
It is a fancy schmancy pedometer.
It is NOT a security device that tracks the whereabouts of criminals. I am
NOT under house arrest. I don't get zapped
if I leave the parking lot....... but that is kinda funny. I hope the woman that thinks I'm under house
arrest is also telling everyone that it is the Quilt Police that put me there
because I need to stay home and SEW more! I wouldn't mind being sentenced to a few
dozen more quilts!
I
have also been out of the shop ... a lot.
We did the Original Sewing & Quilt Expo in Monroeville PA at the end
of August, Mancuso Show in Oaks PA in mid September and a personal appearance
at the Aurora Sewing Centers near Buffalo New York last week. At the speaking engagement in New York one of
the attendees reminded me of one of my favorite rumors. I'm known as the Tattooed Lady to a busload
of women from near Syracuse.
Several
years ago for our "Spooktacular Bus Tour" I
"dressed up" by wearing a pair of sheer nylon sleeves that make it
look like you have tattoos on your arms.
It was Halloween day. They were $1.98.
I thought it was fun. What I
didn't realize was that most of the women on the bus thought those tats were
real. Some were offended, a few finally put
two and two together and asked me about them then laughed. The youngest girl on the bus told me she was
proud of me for showing off my "art".
I crushed her opinion of me when I show her they were fake. Honestly, who would think that 2 bucks worth of nylon stocking would be taken for real body art on Halloween day? It's been years since that bus trip and I
still have people asking if I am the shop owner with the tattoos (even when I
am standing right in front of them).
This
past weekend was the kick-off weekend for our clubs. I joked with the group that I would be
staying home for awhile, so they would see me in the shop. "I will be chained to my desk". At least until Quilt Market at the end of the
month and I'm going to squeeze in a quick trip to see the grandkids too. Perfectly normal right? I thought so, except that I was wearing THIS
when I said it:
Let's
have some fun with this! Leave me a
comment on why you think I am under house arrest - the funnier the better - and
when I get 25 or more comments I will select one to win a set of Scrap Crazy
templates! If you don't comment you can't win!
24 comments:
You must be under house arrest because your points are cut off and the seams don't match. Horrors!!!
Love the story of the tats.
I believe its for not having an accurate 1/4"
I just want a pair of the tattoo sleeves!!! That would be hilarious at our Halloween party!
I think it's because you went wild with your rotary cutter, and cut up several yards of fabric before you could be stopped!
As a fellow quilting fitbit flex owner ....
I think that you're under house arrest because you've been too busy making your numbers, to be making your quilts! (For shame! ;) )
Now, if I could only learn to rotary cut, while I'm finishing up those last hundred steps (can you picture me marching around my living room?!) ... but the jogging motion is just too hard to cut to!
I think you've been found guilty of litter loose threads!
Your quilt was the wrong color scheme for a very important person who you can't name, but they were so offended by the colors, that they placed you under house arrest.
Guessing your under house arrest for stalking Hugh.
Christine
A regular reader from MN
Nelson4277@q.com
I know why you are under house arrest. It is for not posting more often on your blog.
"Don't Tell anyone" but Karen is under house arrest because at the Pittsburgh Airport - TSA inspectors
opened her suitcase and found A rotary cutter , a package of Scrap Crazy templates - a suitcase filled with little tiny pieces fabric... and a bow tie believed to be from Hugh Jackman and that was all !!!!!!!! Remember this is just between us.. GAIL
First of all, I think you should move the Fitbit to your ankle! It would look more convincing there ;->. And, I heard that you are actually under house arrest in protective custody. Mel found out you are cheating on him with Hugh, so he hired a hit man. Then Cary found out about the whole mess and he is keeping you under house arrest so that the news media doesn't find out about your affairs and create a scandal that would ruin his political career. Elections are coming up, you know!
I agree with the last comment
I have met several people under house arrest and they always have ankle bands.
You are under house arrest (by your daughter and SIL) because of your constant threat to kidnap your beautiful grandchildren and bring them back to Pittsburgh ... but no one could blame you if you did!
I think that you might have been under house arrest because you've been gone so much that your staff needed to keep track of you!It was either that, or start an on-line shop hop to find you. I know you have to about the same age I am, but I can't fathom your energy level!
Your husband was found alive after being buried under your quilt fabric stash. You were exonerated from attempted murder after expert testimony that explained to the jury the nature of quilters and their need to have huge fabric stashes. You were, however, sentenced to house arrest so that you can use up some of that stash and prevent any future endangerment to your spouse or other family members.
Patti
Designed a quilt then realized you had made it twice as hard as it could have been! Had to be locked in until you corrected the misstep, before the pattern testers were sent to the funny farm and you had to pay for their sanity to return!
Are you under house arrest because each of the four corners nearest to your home have donut shops on them? (Pedometer was a clue).
You are ALL wrong. It is a piece of designer jewelry crafted from the skin of a rare leopard and it has diamond studs. It is a gift from jealous Mel Gibson when he heard you were seeing Hugh (a MUCH better choice!) That is a VERY clever disguise to make it look like a fit monitor. But don't be too flattered. You may have noticed it can be adjusted to a wrist size to fit nearly anyone. You are not the only one.....
Under house arrest so you can make the twins more quilts. The older they get, the more they love getting them, at least my twin guys think so! They helped plan the last ones.
Under house arrest for being too creative with lovely ideas for so many quilts.
I do follow your blog! I just don't like to comment unless I have something worthwhile to say! :)
I hope you blog in 2015!
Just read the post about comments that somehow is gone. But I know how you feel. Exactly.
I was just introduced to your web page and look forward to following your blog and reading your newsletter.....might even visit your shop in PA if I ever get out there!
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