Sunday, October 6, 2013

Would you like to win a set of Scrap Crazy Templates?


Are you wondering where I have been?

Care to take a guess?  Come on, just guess!  Your wild and crazy imagination can't be more ridiculous than some of the rumors that are going around!  Rumors are part of our business.  It's natural for women to talk.  We hear lots of things we don't repeat and I'm not surprised to find out that sometimes we are the subject of talk.  We just try to keep it to a minimum.  Every few years someone comes into the shop to tell me that they "heard" that we are closing (wouldn't I be the first to know?).  For years I laughed it off and my standard response was "Did they also
tell you that I am sleeping with Mel Gibson?".  That was fun until Mel went off the deep end and became a bit of a nut case.  It was after his crazy tirade that I decided to break things off with Mel and take up with Hugh Jackman.  You read that correctly, I am no longer sleeping with Mel Gibson. 

Do you really want to know where I've been?  Working, working hard!  Although I am always working on new ideas, October is the kick-off month for all of the club programs in our shop.  I rarely do something "off the shelf" so that means creating new projects, writing new patterns and test sewing everything before we start.  I will be the first to admit that I normally work down to the wire - if I don't need it until tomorrow my usual attitude is that I still have plenty of time!  This year is different. I happen to have
selected projects that need to be completed before anything can begin.  Because they are monthly clubs, I'm working on things that my club members won't see until next JUNE!  Working that far ahead I should have some free time between now and then.... right?  I'm going to have to let Hugh know.......

I have also been out of the shop ... a lot.  We did the Original Sewing & Quilt Expo in Monroeville PA at the end of August, Mancuso Show in Oaks PA in mid September and a personal appearance at the Aurora Sewing Centers near Buffalo New York last week.  At the speaking engagement in New York one of the attendees reminded me of one of my favorite rumors.  I'm known as the Tattooed Lady to a busload of women from near Syracuse. 

Several years ago for our "Spooktacular Bus Tour" I "dressed up" by wearing a pair of sheer nylon sleeves that make it look like you have tattoos on your arms.  It was Halloween day. They were $1.98.  I thought it was fun.  What I didn't realize was that most of the women on the bus thought those tats were real.  Some were offended, a few finally put two and two together and asked me about them then laughed.  The youngest girl on the bus told me she was proud of me for showing off my "art".  I crushed her opinion of me when I show her they were fake.  Honestly, who would think that 2 bucks worth of nylon stocking would be taken for real body art on Halloween day?  It's been years since that bus trip and I still have people asking if I am the shop owner with the tattoos (even when I am standing right in front of them).
 
This past weekend was the kick-off weekend for our clubs.  I joked with the group that I would be staying home for awhile, so they would see me in the shop.  "I will be chained to my desk".  At least until Quilt Market at the end of the month and I'm going to squeeze in a quick trip to see the grandkids too.  Perfectly normal right?  I thought so, except that I was wearing THIS when I said it:

 Does that look like a monitoring device to you?  It is - sort of - it is a Fitbit.  It tracks how many steps I take.  It is a fancy schmancy pedometer.  It is NOT a security device that tracks the whereabouts of criminals. I am NOT under house arrest.  I don't get zapped if I leave the parking lot....... but that is kinda funny.  I hope the woman that thinks I'm under house arrest is also telling everyone that it is the Quilt Police that put me there because I need to stay home and SEW more!  I wouldn't mind being sentenced to a few dozen more quilts!

Let's have some fun with this!  Leave me a comment on why you think I am under house arrest - the funnier the better - and when I get 25 or more comments I will select one to win a set of Scrap Crazy templates!  If you don't comment you can't win!

17 comments:

2 Dachsies said...

You must be under house arrest because your points are cut off and the seams don't match. Horrors!!!

Love the story of the tats.

Kathleen said...

I believe its for not having an accurate 1/4"

Lois (AKA Onnie) said...

I just want a pair of the tattoo sleeves!!! That would be hilarious at our Halloween party!

Deb G. in VA said...

I think it's because you went wild with your rotary cutter, and cut up several yards of fabric before you could be stopped!

Ida from Central PA said...

As a fellow quilting fitbit flex owner ....

I think that you're under house arrest because you've been too busy making your numbers, to be making your quilts! (For shame! ;) )

Now, if I could only learn to rotary cut, while I'm finishing up those last hundred steps (can you picture me marching around my living room?!) ... but the jogging motion is just too hard to cut to!

kjoanner said...

I think you've been found guilty of litter loose threads!

macbeaner said...

Your quilt was the wrong color scheme for a very important person who you can't name, but they were so offended by the colors, that they placed you under house arrest.

Anonymous said...

Guessing your under house arrest for stalking Hugh.

Christine
A regular reader from MN
Nelson4277@q.com

M. Kearney said...

I know why you are under house arrest. It is for not posting more often on your blog.

Gail said...

"Don't Tell anyone" but Karen is under house arrest because at the Pittsburgh Airport - TSA inspectors
opened her suitcase and found A rotary cutter , a package of Scrap Crazy templates - a suitcase filled with little tiny pieces fabric... and a bow tie believed to be from Hugh Jackman and that was all !!!!!!!! Remember this is just between us.. GAIL

banjo795 said...

First of all, I think you should move the Fitbit to your ankle! It would look more convincing there ;->. And, I heard that you are actually under house arrest in protective custody. Mel found out you are cheating on him with Hugh, so he hired a hit man. Then Cary found out about the whole mess and he is keeping you under house arrest so that the news media doesn't find out about your affairs and create a scandal that would ruin his political career. Elections are coming up, you know!

babiesdoc said...

I agree with the last comment
I have met several people under house arrest and they always have ankle bands.

45th Parallel Quilter said...

You are under house arrest (by your daughter and SIL) because of your constant threat to kidnap your beautiful grandchildren and bring them back to Pittsburgh ... but no one could blame you if you did!

jean said...

I think that you might have been under house arrest because you've been gone so much that your staff needed to keep track of you!It was either that, or start an on-line shop hop to find you. I know you have to about the same age I am, but I can't fathom your energy level!

Patti said...

Your husband was found alive after being buried under your quilt fabric stash. You were exonerated from attempted murder after expert testimony that explained to the jury the nature of quilters and their need to have huge fabric stashes. You were, however, sentenced to house arrest so that you can use up some of that stash and prevent any future endangerment to your spouse or other family members.

Patti

Dee M said...

Designed a quilt then realized you had made it twice as hard as it could have been! Had to be locked in until you corrected the misstep, before the pattern testers were sent to the funny farm and you had to pay for their sanity to return!

Rochellemezzano.com said...

Are you under house arrest because each of the four corners nearest to your home have donut shops on them? (Pedometer was a clue).