Complaint Department

As a shop owner/designer/publisher I am required to wear many different hats. In the Customer Service area alone I deal with questions, comments and of course complaints. Nobody is perfect, and I am not using that as an excuse, just a simple statement of fact. Every now and then, no matter how hard we try, we screw up.

The mistakes that the staff and I might make in the store are easy to fix. They are mostly made one-on-one with a single customer. Publishing mistakes are a MUCH bigger issue! I write instructions, do my own sample sewing, have others proof read and often the published patterns have been distributed to my shop clubs where dozens of people have used them before they go to print. Still, every now and then you get that call that starts "Did you know that there is a mistake in ......" and panic mode sets in! OMG! If it really is a mistake (and not a confused customer) correcting it can be overwhelming. I immediately begin the process of contacting vendors, consumers, other shops, posting corrections on the website, mailing corrected copies...... a nightmare.

At the other end of the customer complain spectrum are letters like this one. Hand scrawled hate mail from someone so frustrated with one of my patterns that they took the time to pen me a detailed letter about what a miserable human being I am for writing such horrendously bad instructions. These make me smile.

I know that on first impression the fact that I find this humorous doesn't seem very customer service oriented, but inevitably these letters are written by people that are their own worst enemy. The letter featured here was received last week and has detailed issues with our Easy Stripped Table Runner pattern. Really? I have been publishing that pattern in one form or another since the mid 1980's. We sell an average of 1000 copies a month and it has been on the best seller list for the last several years. More than a handful of people have had success using the step-by-step illustrated instructions that are included in the pattern that has only FIVE seams. There is a very good chance that in this particular instance, it isn't me with the problem.

Now I am faced with the issue of how to respond.

The author of this particular letter begins by telling me that she has been sewing for 49 years, quilting for 5, has a doctorate degree and is not stupid. She goes on to explain that it took her "hours to engineer a 60 degree triangle for the runner".

Dear Not Stupid in California,
I am sorry to hear that you are having issues with our Easy Striped Table Runner pattern. Please keep in mind that the materials list for a quilting project is much like the list of ingredients for a recipe. On the back of the Easy Striped Table Runner pattern you will find a list of materials necessary to make the project. Clearly listed between "thread for assembly and machine quilting" and "basic sewing supplies" is "Creative Grids 60 Degree triangle ruler" an important ingredient for the success of your project. This is the same ruler that is shown in the step-by-step photographs that accompany the written instructions. Attempting to make the project without the proper tools is akin to preparing beef stew without purchasing beef.

..... um... too snarky?

Ms. California also goes on to take issue with my use of the word "equilateral" in reference to the type of triangle needed for this project. She points out that the word equilateral means "all three sides need to be the same"...... uh, I agree? According to her drafting experience "You cannot make a 60 degree triangle that is equal for the 8 1/2 inch strip".

Dear Ms. California,

As a resident of the state of Pennsylvania I am unaware of any laws in the state of California that prohibit the use of 8 1/2 inch increments in basic geometry. To complete the Easy Striped Table Runner project I suggest that you purchase the required ruler from your local quilt shop. If sales of the 8 1/2 inch size are somehow prohibited in your state, the ruler is also available in a 12 1/2 inch size a well. You can also order the ruler directly from our website. We are willing to ship rulers across state lines at any time.

...bad idea. Ms. California probably isn't the type to appreciate my sense of humor.

And my favorite part of the letter: "My God, you charge $10 for this pattern"! Which is signed with her name, followed by "Esq." - meaning she is an attorney.

Dear Esq.
I am deeply troubled by your dissatisfaction with our Easy Striped Table Runner pattern. In an attempt to rectify the situation I would like to refund my profit from your purchase. Unfortunately I do not sell the pattern for $10. I retail it for $8.50 both in our store and on our website. Your purchase was made from another shop that ordered wholesale through a distributor and established their own retail in our free enterprise system. Our wholesale cost is $4.25 - 30% for the distributor or $2.97. Subtract from that the cost of the bag, color printing, paper, employee payroll to fold and ship the pattern and we are left with .86 cents. Would you like that in the form of a check or shall I make a charitable donation in your name?

....nope. She probably wouldn't like that either.

Customer Service experts will tell you that one disgruntled customer is like one bad apple. They can spread rot and ruin your entire reputation that you have worked so hard to build. I spend a portion of every day, and I do mean every day - 7 days a week, talking to customers via email and phone, helping them understand techniques, find old issues of free patterns or pages they have lost. I've talked many a customer through enlarging or reducing a project or helped them to understand that what the instructions say and what they are doing might not be the same thing. If Ms. Disgruntled had dashed off an email or picked up the phone I or one of my employees would have been happy to talk her through drafting a triangle using any brand of rotary ruler. We would have pointed out the importance of the blunt tip on the Creative Grids brand and explained why that is our ruler of choice.

Because she eloquently stated that she intends to "not walk, but RUN" the next time she sees my name on a pattern I think we have past the point of talking her through the issues she described. Therefore I am appealing to you, loyal blog readers, for opinions on how to respond to this letter. You are officially in charge of this persons Customer Service. Post a comment. If you were in her shoes, what would make you happy? Go for it.